trading babysitting

I've started to trade babysitting with another mom, who is taking graduate classes. I was finding it really hard to work and keep an eye on J. at the same time, and I hated being in the middle of working and then having to just stop suddenly if he woke from his nap. So I had started to look for a part-time nanny, but in the process of doing that found out that my friend was also looking for someone. So we worked it out that I have her son here two half-days a week, and she'll have J. two half-days a week. The boys are about 2 months apart and play really well together - I just finished my two half-days for this week, and then she'll have J. tomorrow afternoon.

The only thing about this that I'm not sure I'm going to like is changing another kid's diaper. I used to babysit all the time when I was in high school and college, and even worked at a day care one summer, and I don't remember having this strong dislike of changing diapers. And I could care less about J's diapers. But it almost makes me want to puke every time I change this other kid's diaper. I'm wondering if his mom would think it was strange if he had a wet/dirty diaper every time she picked him up?

Weekend fun

This was a good weekend - Friday night I went out with a few friends (all moms; our babies are within 3 weeks of each other) for manicures/pedicures, and then out to dinner. It was a lot of fun! I hadn't gone out with a group of girls in a really long time, and I forgot how nice it is to just sit around with other women talking and drinking and having a good time without the guys there! Not that I don't like having the guys around, but it just seems like they have a tendency to dominate the conversation sometimes.

I also had a Manhattan to drink on Friday; I haven't had liquor since before I was pregnant (although I have had my share of beer/wine since he was born)! I forgot how much I love having a cocktail. Last night, H. and I went out to celebrate his birthday - we went to a new restaurant that was wonderful! We weren't able to get a reservation, so just went in as a walk-in and although they originally gave us a 90 minute wait, it ended up being only 45 minutes. And we didn't mind at all - they had this beautiful restored bar in a neat loft area of the restaurant and it was a great place to wait. I continued my drinking of cocktails with another Manhattan and then a grey goose martini (dirty) with blue cheese stuffed olives. So good. I was fairly tipsy by the time I finished both those drinks and then ended up nursing one glass of wine the rest of the evening. The food was great too, and we went all out with mushroom crepes and baked crab appetizer, a red leaf/pear/hearts of palm salad, stuffed tomatoes, green beans, beef tenderloin (cooked perfectly!), cauliflower risotto puree, and then espresso creme brulee and pineapple cake for dessert. After dinner we finished our wine in the bar and then headed home. We were still home by midnight - the days of staying out to 1 or 2 am are long gone.

Today I worked (we have programs on Sunday), we went to Mass, and now I'm catching up on my blogs while having a beer (Fat Tire). I'm about to go get in bed to watch Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters on ABC.

The only downside to the weekend is that J. has been really crabby lately - yesterday afternoon I packed him into the car and headed to the mall, mainly because I couldn't take his crying anymore and I figured he needed a change of scenery. I tried to find H. a birthday present, which was an unsuccessful goal, but I did find myself a new pair of jeans. I tried on a bunch of the trendy super skinny jeans, but couldn't imagine actually wearing them. So I went with an old standby - Citizens of Humanity Kelly bootcut jean. They were out of my size, however, so they ordered them and are having them sent to my house. I hope they get here soon!

Sausage and pepper pasta

I made sausage and pepper pasta for dinner last night, and it turned out really well! I had some Italian Sausage links in the freezer that I needed to use, which formed the basis for coming up with this dinner. I tend to not cook from recipes, although I might look up a few for ideas, and so this dinner doesn't really have a hard-and-fast recipe to follow, but here's the general idea of what I did:

Cooked Italian Sausage (I used Hot Salsiccia links) according to package (which generally says to place in skillet with 1/2 cup of water over medium heat for 20 mins, turning halfway through). Drain water from skillet, and slice cooked sausage into rounds. Put back into skillet and brown up for a few minutes over medium heat, stirring frequently.

Meanwhile, cook package of frozen pepper strips (green, red, and yellow from Trader Joe's - cheaper than buying three separate peppers!) in microwave for about 6 minutes to defrost and heat.

Add cooked peppers to meat in skillet, along with garlic and italian seasonings (oregano, thyme, etc., whatever you like) to taste. Cook for about 5 minutes, stirring frequently.

Add one can of Italian-style tomatoes (drained), cover, and reduce heat to low. Simmer for about 5 minutes.

Serve over pasta (I used spinach fettuccine) with fresh Parmesan.

It was really good! H. loved it, and it looked really pretty in the bowls with all the different colors.

I hate rude people and I love wine.

I was making calls for work to remind our volunteers about an upcoming program and volunteer appreciation day, and I left a message for this one woman, who called me back a few minutes later. She hadn't listened to the message I left, but had just seen the number on her caller ID and was calling it back, even though she didn't know who it was. So we had a few minutes of awkward, "who are you and why are you calling" exchange:

Her: Hi, I just got a call from this number. Who is this?
ME: Oh, hi, this is Midwest Texan and I was calling people about Work; I must have left you a message. What was your name?
Her: Oh, I didn't check the messages.
ME: Ok, but who is this? (all this while I'm scanning my list of names trying to see if I can figure out who the hell this is)
Her: Oh, this is Rude Lady.
ME: Oh, ok, well I wanted to remind you about. . . . and then as I proceed to go into this, she interrupts with:
Her: Yeah, whatever, I don't have time right now for this, I'm at work.
ME: Not a problem, but you just returned my call, so . . .
Her: I can't talk, bye.

And hangs up on me.

I hate people who call people back from the caller id. Especially if they don't know who it was that called them! And then why did she call someone back if she was at work and couldn't talk anyway! The whole point of leaving someone a message is that they can then return the call at their convenience.

On the flip side, I'm drinking wine right now and so everything seems so much better. I'm trying a new white wine I picked up from Trader Joe's for $4.99: Honey Moon Viognier. It was really good - not too sweet, and just right for having a few glasses.

A day late, but here it is anyway!

MENU PLAN MONDAY (ON TUESDAY)

Monday: Went to my inlaws for dinner (steak, risotto, salad)
Tuesday: Sausage and pepper pasta (super easy, as I'm using frozen pepper strips from Trader Joe's)
Wednesday: Curry chicken, cooked carrots, basmati rice
Thursday: Pot roast in the crockpot
Friday: Leftovers
Saturday: out for dinner for H.'s birthday
Sunday: dinner with inlaws for H's birthday

This is an easy week of meals!

Vacation days

Since I left my pre-baby (and, for 5-months, post-baby) full-time job in December to start my work-from-home part time/stay at home mom job, I had been waiting on my check to pay out my vacation time from my old job. I used up all my sick days and vacation days during my maternity leave, but had accured a few more days during the 5 months I was back at work after maternity leave but before I quit. And the check hit my account today! Yeah! I love that I just got paid $1200 (not much compared to the pre-baby paycheck) for doing nothing! (If you could call staying home with a 9 month old "nothing".)

If only I could get paid this every week. :

Ultimate Blog Party

I love parties! The Ultimate Blog Party will be held the first week of March, and it's sure to be a good time. More details are available here.

Road trip

J. and I went for a mini road trip yesterday to meet up with one of my best friends - we live 4 hours apart (she's in Indianapolis), so we met halfway in a little town called Casey, Illinois at a restaurant I found through AAA. She is pregnant with their first child, and it was so fun to see her pregnant! She's at 33 weeks now, and it was fun talking and remembering what it was like this time a year ago. She's one of those friends that even though we don't get to see each other that often (the last time was over a year ago, when I was only about 12 weeks pregnant), we can just pick up right where we left off. I love friends like that, although I wish we lived closer and didn't have to go so long in between visits. J. and I will go out to visit when her little guy is born in a few weeks, so that is something good to look forward to.

Anyway, we chatted a lot about pregnancy, having a baby, and what life's like once you do. I love those kind of conversations as it really makes it clear how far I've come from where I was a few years and even months ago. I feel so much more confident as a mother (although I still have my doubts - like today when I asked the pediatrician what I should do for his dry skin, and the pediatrician just gave me a funny look and told me to put lotion on it! You think I could have figured that out on my own). It's so exciting to see my friends as moms and to have us share this new chapter of our lives.

J. did great the whole visit - he slept almost the entire car ride there, woke up and ate lunch with us, played, watched a DVD (yes, I let my child watch DVDs!), played some more, crawled on the table, took a nap, ate again, chatted with us a bit, and then fell back asleep in the car for the entire way home!

I woke up this morning though and wished that I was going to visit with my friend again today - it was a wonderful way to spend the day - I'm a social person and working at home now -while definitely the best thing for me right now - is a very quiet and non-social thing to do. I miss conversations with friends during the day and having people around who knew me before I was J.'s mom, since most of the adult interaction I now get is at playgroup or with other moms who I know now mainly because of J.

Children's clothing

Do you think he'd be embarrased if he knew what his shirt said?

Menu Plan Monday

Since one of my goals is to start being more organized with our meals, I'm going to keep up with Menu Plan Mondays, which Laura does each week - I've been reading her blog for a while and really enjoy all the great ideas!

So here's our Menu Plan for the week:

Monday: Chicken Enchiladas, Mexican Rice, Salsa & Chips
Tuesday: Ham, Cheese, Potato Soup & Salad
Wednesday: Leftovers (ground beef, veggie, and pasta soup from two nights ago)
Thursday: Something with the extra roast chicken meat from our dinner last night (any ideas?)
Friday: Thai Pork Tenderloin with noodles and veggies
Saturday: With friends for dinner out
Sunday: Leftovers

Broken glass

Until I married my husband, I'd never broken a glass or a plate or anything before. I still haven't, but for some reason H. has this uncanny knack for breaking things - he's actually managed to break at least 3 wine glasses just holding them in his hands!

It turns out that J. has inherited this trait - he broke his first glass today. What was my child doing with a real glass, you ask? Well, I have this set of pint glasses that I collected while in college from my favorite bar that used to give them out every Monday. They are from the distributors and are primarily promotional items with the beer's logo on them and sometimes they had some for special events (e.g., they had a glass for the anniversary of Elvis's death). I had a bunch of these originally, most of which have disappeared, leaving me with a set of 8 different glasses. Fortunately, these are some of my favorites - my "Elvis is dead" one, Fat Tire (my favorite beer in college), and a few others that have some meaning to me. H. likes using them, as do I, but he tends to leave them on the coffee table in the den.

Well, J. was crawling around the den while I was working this morning, and as he often does now, was quickly around the couch into the other part of the den. So I got up to go get him, and as I did, I saw him standing by the coffee table with a glass still on it - I kind of stood there, thinking to myself, "I really should grab that glass", but just as I thought it, he grabbed on to it, pulled it over, and then let go, where it dropped onto the table, leaving J. holding a piece of it!

I was afraid to do anything too sudden for fear that it would scare him and he'd drop from standing down onto the glass on the floor, but I also though of him putting the broken glass in his mouth! I'm not really sure what I did, but I know I managed to scoop him up and take the glass out of his hand at the same time - I don't really remember if he'd gotten it up to his mouth or not, but I don't think he did.

I got it all cleaned up, but am still shaking from it - I think I'm going to take him and head up to the Y for a run so I can relax a little!

Thankful

In case you haven't seen this on the news this weekend, we have a big news story in our area - two kidnapped teen males were found yesterday in the St. Louis area. One had been kidnapped last Monday and the other had been missing for four years, since he was 11. They apparently had been taken by the same man and had been living about 3 miles from our house! What a small world - the creep that took them worked for a local pizza place and often delivered pizza to H. when he was working late at the office! It is so good to see the families reunited, especially for the parents of the older teen who had been gone for four years. What a miracle. Please pray for these families as they start to heal from this experience.

I've found since having J. that stories about children who have been kidnapped, gone missing, have chronic illnesses, witnessed traumatic experiences, etc. affect me in a way that they never did before becoming a mother. Knowing now the kind of love and devotion and feelings I have for J. makes me realize on an entirely different level what it must be like for these parents. I tivo "The View" every day, and then watch it at night or on the weekends, and a few weeks ago Rosie had a teenager on the show who has cystic fibrosis (CF). As a surprise to the teen, they brought on the entire cast of Rent to sing along with this teen, who loves Rent. The girl was so ecstatic and looked absolutely amazed at her good luck. During the time she was singing along with the cast, they kept showing her mom, who was bawling and smiling at the same time. I lost it - many youth with CF don't live past their 20s or 30s, and you could tell watching this mom that she knew that this could be one of the best days of her daughter's life and how absolutely happy she was for her to have this moment, but also how bittersweet it must be. I can't watch shows like "Law and Order: SVU" or "CSI" anymore because so often they deal with abuse and crimes against children. I have to keep myself from reading headlines about children being hurt or killed because I know if I do, that's all I'll think about for days.

I am so thankful for J. and that he is healthy and happy, but I also know that this could change at any minute and I have to be grateful for every moment that I have with him and with H. It's so scary to think that something could happen to either one of them, and while I don't want to be consumed by that worry, I also feel like I should be realistic and know that the time I have with them is only a gift, and it might not always be there. And then that completely freaks me out because I don't think I could go on if something happened to J. (and H. too, although that's a little different).

more on Anonymous blogging

Number of times I've now realized I've left my real name in someone's comments, with a link to this blog: 3

Number of other blogs I commented on as part of de-lurking week (I was a huge lurker until I started this blog; I'm going to start to comment more now on others!): about 30

Number of blogs I think I probably left my real name on that I still need to check: about 27

Oh well. I'm assuming that the odds of someone finding me on this blog within the first week is pretty slim, seeing as I've never run across someone I know on all the blogs I've looked at.

So I'm going to just keep on thinking I'm totally anonymous!

Anonymous blogging

Well, I stink at the whole anonymous part of blogging. My first comment (thanks Morgan!) mentioned how hard it was to keep up two blogs - and I'm finding that even after a week, it is a bit much. I keep worrying that I'm going to be logged in with the non-anonymous account and make a post to the wrong blog or something. I also realized that I left a comment on someone's blog earlier this week with my real name but then a link to this blog. And of course, being new to commenting, I have no idea how to remove/edit it. If anyone knows how to edit a comment you left on someone else's blog, please let me know!

But aside from that, I'm really enjoying having this space. I'm going to keep playing with the template and layout a little over the next few days, so if you see something you like/don't like, please let me know!

And since I know pictures of babies are always fun, here's one of my little guy (I'm figuring that if anyone I know ever does end up on this blog, there's enough on it that they'll probably be able to figure out it's me anyway, so seeing J. doesn't matter too much!!:

Five good things about today

1. I'm wearing my new cashmere long-sleeved t-shirt from Banana Republic that I got for over 75% off!

It looks like this, except with a crew neck instead of a V:

2. I managed to get in three miles at the Y this morning while J. played happily in the nursery (I love the Y - free childcare, it's all SAHM's in the morning, stroller aerobics on Tu/Th, great classes, and it's where I met my group of "mom" friends during prenatal aerobics - what the bar used to be for my social life, the Y now is.)

3. J. is taking a really long nap, giving me time for a shower, makeup, straightening my hair, blogging, email, etc. I should be using this time to work, but oh well.

4. Once J. wakes up, we are walking to the Mexican restaurant for lunch! Yum! I have tons of leftovers in the house I should eat, and some turkey that's about to go bad if I don't eat it soon, but I really want Mexican. I think I'll just make dinner tonight "leftover night" to justify my lunch. And since H. won't go to Mexican with me since we went last week, I have to go for lunch.

5. They are coming to finalize the measurements for our new window treatments in 10 minutes! And I'm sitting in the office/den enjoying our new carpet! I love home improvements.

the ex

I realized that one of the best parts of having this blog is I can use it to safely complain about my husband's ex-girlfriend. He's tired of hearing about it, my friends are tired of hearing about it (although, bless them, they act like they aren't), my mom is tired of hearing about it, and, unfortunatley, since she's still very much present in my life, I'm not tired of talking about it.

Here's the background (warning: this is long.) My husband (H.) and I met; I was dating someone else but went ahead and went out on a few dates with H. while I was dating this other guy (I was indecisive). After a few mishaps on these dates with H., I decided that I'd just stick with the guy I was already dating and not mess with H. because I didn't see much in him that I thought would make a long-term relationship and I was at a point where I didn't want to waste my time (given that I'd been wasting my time for the past 8 years with random guys, I should have realized by now that I had no idea what I wanted). Fast forward a few weeks - "other guy" and I break up, I'm feeling depressed about not dating and decide to call H. for a pick-me-up. We talk, get together for lunch, talk some more, and finally meet for another real date in the city where he's now, in the interm, moved to permanently, about 2 hours from me. We go out on a few dates and I start to realize that maybe this is someone I should think twice about (although I'd had a lot to drink on our dates and also thought for a while that it was the alcohol talking). We both realize this, things progress to a very serious relationship.

A few months later (and we'd started talking marriage at this point), H.'s best friend, "Politics" comes along with H. on a weekend visit to my town. During this visit, Politics asks H. if he would be okay with him taking H's college ex-girlfriend to his upcoming office party. She and Politics know each other through H., so it's a bit odd that they have been in contact. H. says no big deal, he and I discuss this for a while at length - I ask all the typical questions one asks about an ex (did you sleep with her? Yes. when did you last sleep with her? In college. Was she the first person you ever slept with? Yes. Did you love her? Not really. When did you last talk with her? In college. Am I better than her? Oh yes, of course. and then, just out of curiousity: When was the last time you slept with anyone? Months before we met) and we move on. Story over.

If only I was so lucky. Another few months pass and I'm at home with my family for the holidays in the Great State of Texas (GST). H. and I are talking about what we're doing for the evening, and he mentions that he's going out to meet Politics who wants everyone to meet his new girlfriend, who happens to be H's ex-girlfriend. Apparently the office party went well and in spite of the fact that the ex lives out of town (hours away), they are now an item. H. admits that when he said it was ok for Politics to take her to the office party, he didn't think they'd start dating and this is a little awkward. I admit that I'd like to have her shipped off to Nova Scotia without a coat and Politics sent to an insane asylum for dating her.

At this point, my female intuition alarm goes off. I don't know what it was about the conversation or what H. was saying, but I could tell he was feeling really awkward; more awkward than he should. So I asked him again when was the last time he saw the ex-girlfriend. His answer?

A few months ago.

Now, I realize I haven't done a great job with the timeline of all these events, but to quickly fill you in without adding detailed diagrams to this post, "a few months ago" places things smack in the middle of when we were in the early stages of dating.

(Ok, I just stopped writing a bit to go up and get a beer. The baby is asleep and won't need my boobs until 6 am, and I always can face this part of the story a little better with alcohol. You might be able to understand me better if you have a beer also. I'll wait.).

H. then proceeds to ask me if I remember the weddings he went to, two weekends in a row, right before we started seriously dating, right after we got back in touch after our initial dates, but about a week before we went out on our first serious date (does that make sense? re-read paragraph two if it doesn't). I say yes, and start to feel sick. He then admits that ex went with him to these weddings. I ask if he kissed her. Yes. I ask if he slept with her then. Yes. I hang up the phone.

Now, you might be wondering why I was so upset if we weren't really dating at the time and if I was dating someone else (yes, and sleeping with him) when I first met H. and went out with him a few times. The big difference? H. knew I was dating someone else; he even knew I was sleeping with him. I never kept that from him and was honest about it from the start. He, on the otherhand, had purposefully lied to me. See paragraph 3.

This was probably the biggest challenge we had in our dating relationship. I won't go into all the details about what happended after this, but there were alot of tears, alot of yelling, and a lot of talking. And we worked things out and it was ok. I still felt sick whenever I though of her, and he still felt like crap for lying to me about it, but we were ok.

And then Politics kept dating her. and dating her. and dating her. Fortuantely, I didn't have to meet her until after H. and I were engaged, and I was civil to her. She was a bitch. So the next time I was around her, I was a bitch. And then Politics got mad at H. because of things I said to ex. But who really cared what he thought? He broke the biggest rule out there in the dating world: DON'T DATE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S EX. There's a reason why this is a rule.

Politics was the best man in our wedding. The wedding invitation was addressed only to him. Bitchy of me? Maybe, but they weren't engaged and Emily Post said you don't have to invite dates, only fiances/wives. Emily probably would have said I should have invited her, given that everyone else was invited with a date and this guy was the best man, but I'm sure Emily never had the prospect of having her husband's ex-whore at her wedding.

They got engaged a week after our wedding. Guess who was the best man in their wedding? Yep, H.

Fun, fun, fun. Here's a picture of the dollar bill I posted at the bar (they had them all over the ceilings and walls) we went to after their rehearsal dinner (the blacked out portion are their real names). I know this was really immature of me, but it felt good.


Things got a little better - for some reason, it was easier once they were married. I realized that there wasn't much I could do about it now. It also was easier once we got pregnant; I think I realized that there was so much more important things to think about than hating her. Ex and I also had the chance to talk about her dating H. (I was drunk; always a good time to have these kind of conversations), and I made sure she knew that H. didn't cheat on me with her (I would have hated her thinking this) and that what bothered me so much about her was that she reminded me of one of the worse things about H. and his lying to me.

So now I'm very civil to her - anyone who doesn't know might think we're friends. I manage now to keep all bitchy comments to myself, although every time I'm around her, I have plenty that come to mind. I still can't believe my husband's best friend is married to her.

Safety shopping

J. and I spent 2 hours this morning at Babies R' Us shopping for safety proofing items and a new jogging stroller. BRU is like a dark hole that I get lost in and emerge hours later with no money. l my money. I know that everything there is at least a dollar more than it would be at Target or Walmart, but I just love being in a whole store of baby stuff! I also had to stop to nurse J. while we were there, and they have a somewhat decent room to do it in. Today though, there was another mom in there and we started talking, so J. just wanted to sit up and participate in our conversation. I finally gave up after 45 minutes.

It was a bit frustrating to drive all the way out there though, only to find out that one of the items I wanted - a cover for power strips - was not there. It wasn't there the last time I went to BRU looking for it. Ugh. I did manage to find adhesive drawer latches though, since my husband pitched a fit when he found out that the others required you to screw into the drawer and frame. Since we renovated the kitchen shortly before J. was born, I think he hates the idea of doing anything permanent to it that would detract from the kitchen, especially since we are most likely moving in 2-3 years. However, the drawer latches with screws were around 3-4 dollars for a pack of 8. The adhesive latches were 7 dollars EACH! I went ahead and bought them all, but it will be interesting to see what he wants to do once he realizes the price difference.

So upon coming home, I got online to try and find the items I didn't get at BRU (wire guards and power strip covers). I checked a few places online, including Target. They didn't have power strip covers, but in the safety section, they do carry DNA identification/profile kits. Hmmm. I guess if you aren't sure who is your baby's daddy, you can just pop over to Target and find out. That's nice. I'm not sure though why they are in the safety section and am still trying to figure that out.

We had one other "fun" experience at BRU - I realized that now that J. is in his "big" carseat and thus sitting up in the front of the cart that when I need to use the restroom, I have no where to put him! You can't take the cart into the bathroom (and even if you could, there's no room for it), and so I ended up holding him on my lap and trying to do everything one-handed. I've done this before, but always with the Baby Bjorn so I didn't really have to hold him while I did everything. And it was not easy. I'm going to have to figure out how to use one of the three slings I own so that I have an easier way to hold on to him when we're in the store. The Bjorn is too bulky to carry around in the diaper bag, so I really need to be able to use one of the slings. It's been 8 months of trying though, and I still can't even figure out how to get them over my head properly.

Why I started this blog

About 2 weeks before giving birth to my first son ("J.") I started getting restless. I'd finally finished setting up the nursery, washing and putting away new clothes, filled the freezer with food, loaded all my favorite CDs onto to my Ipod to listen to during labor, finished unpacking in our new kitchen, made lists of what I wanted to happen during labor, and packed my bags. I'd also cleaned all of our windowsills, on the outside (which my husband pointed out was a pointless thing to clean since it would just get dirty again in a day), vacuumed everything in our house, including the cats, and was still working a full-time job. For some reason though, I got bored in the evenings. So I decided to start a blog to "journal" everything that was going on and my thoughts as I headed into motherhood. I had ideas of having this witty, somewhat sarcastic, blog with all my insightful and poignant thoughts. This worked for the first few posts. Then the baby was born, and my blog quickly turned into me just posting picture after picture of the baby. It's not that I didn't want to write, I just didn't have the time. And his pictures were so cute, words weren't needed!

But in spite of this, I keep having all these conversations with myself about what was going on during this [amazing!] time and wishing I had someplace to write things down. I also became a regular reader of a number of great blogs, most of which are written my moms with babies who are around the same age as J. I realized that a lot of what I really wanted to say on my blog was not anything that I would have included on my original blog, since so many of my friends and family check it for updated pictures of J.

So this blog is my answer to all that. It's the place where I can say what I really wanted to say, but couldn't.

I hope I can be better about writing on this blog than I ever have been with keeping up with diaries or journals!

So here goes.