Saturday, March 29, 2008

My house is a ticking fir.ebomb

My mother asked me the other day if I had anything else going on in my life other than selling the house. I guess I've been talking a little too much about it.

IT IS JUST THAT IT IS CONSUMING EVERYTHING.

All my thinking, all my MONEY, all my time.

I can't get away from it.

We just returned the buyer's inspectio.n to them with the agreement on what things we will fix or not. Our realt.or is being Ms. Devil's Advocate and telling us that she thinks "they are just going to walk away. I know it. I can just tell that they are not going to be happy and are going to walk away".

Well, hell, go right on ahead and walk away if you want. I DON'T CARE. I am going to live in this house forever because it's easy. And comfortable. AND DOESN'T INVOLVE FIXING EXPENSIVE THINGS FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

And any other children we might have will be quite comfortable in the tents we put up for them in the yard in lieu of additional bedrooms. Oh, and we will really enjoy using our port-a-potty in lieu of another bathroom.

We agreed to most of the items on the buyer's inspection list - so we are doing a fair amount of repairs. We aren't doing two or three things, which our realtor is insisting are the things that are probably really important to the buyer. And of course, will cause the buyer to walk away. Fast. And without looking back.

Note to the buyer: If they were really important to you, then you shouldn't have included them in the middle of a list of 20 other things. You should have put them in all caps at the top of a list that only included 2 or 3 other items.

Note to our realtor: WHOSE F***ING SIDE ARE YOU ON? DO YOU WANT TO SELL THIS HOUSE OR NOT?

And about the title. I forgot that when we had our inspection a few years ago when we bought the house that our inspector noted that our garage and house were not separated by firewalls and in fact had very combustible material as a separating wall. In addition, we have Fe.de.ral P.ac.ific elect.ric pan.els which are apparently a HUGE fire risk and MUST be replaced.

However, when we bought the house, our realtor (same person as we are using now) did not think that this was a big deal and urged us to go ahead with the house because did we really want to lose it over such a minor issue as firewalls and exploding electric panels?

Now, of course, these are the very SAME things that are causing the SAME realtor to exclaim that our buyer will be disappear into the wilderness, never to be heard from again, if we don't immediately fix them and offer money to ease the pain and suffering experienced by said buyer upon finding out that the 50+ year old house had things that needed to be replaced.

So now I'm not sleeping because I'm just waiting for my Fe.de.ral P.ac.ific elect.ric pan.el to explode and spread rapidly into the garage where it will cause my car to explode because there is no fir.ewall. And since the elect.ric panel is under J's room and the garage is under our room, well, you can guess how my overactive imagination ends this story.

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2 Comments:

  • The realtor is on the REALTOR's side! They usually are...they just want the commission and to move on to the next sell.

    By Blogger Chas, at March 30, 2008 at 6:35 AM  

  • Oh my gosh, my head is about to explode just reading that. Last time we moved, we swore we would live in this house until we die. I'm sorry!

    By Blogger Karen, at March 30, 2008 at 6:57 PM  

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