Here, but not sure what happended to February

I just haven't felt like writing. It's hard sometimes to see everything out in print. When I first started the blog, I thought it would be a great way to get out all the things I like to gripe about and a good way to sort through things since I no longer have the daily opportunity to go through things with friends at work. But sometimes, seeing things in writing is scary. And many days I'm just too tired to rehash it all. If this was my family/baby blog, things would be a little more fun, because J is just a blast these days, but this is my spot and I have a separate blog for all the kid things.


And since many of the people I like to read have been slow in posting lately or not posting at all (like you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and even you), I haven't even been checking as much. And some days I'm just too lazy to log in to the blogger to bother to post or comment. Sorry.

So here's the highlights of the past 6 weeks:

Husband had a birthday. I had a dilemma over the cake. Who should make the cake once married? His mom or me? I know he likes my cake better, and I like my cake better, and I usually make a cake and do dessert, but this year his mom jumped the gun and celebrated his birthday days in advance, and she made the cake. So then I didn't think I should make another cake on his actual birthday since we already had cake. And for some reason, this seemed like a much bigger dilemma at the time that it does now.

I had surgery on my mouth. It was the third time I had this procedure and it sucked. I forgot how awful the recovery was. I did lose a few pounds from not eating for a few weeks, which I've now put back on in the last two weeks in some junk food craze that I've been on. Easter candy is probably my favorite candy of all year (Cadbury minieggs, Cadbury creme eggs, Reese peanut butter eggs, Little Debbie easter cakes) and I've been eating nothing but crap for two weeks. I have to stop. I'm stopping tomorrow.

We put our house on the market. That probably consumed most of my non-work time in the past few weeks. We had quite a few major things to do to get ready to sell, including installing a new vanity and removing birds from our oven exhaust fan. Both things that should have been handled by professionals and instead, I decided that we should do it ourselves. Big mistake. The vanity installation ended up costing us more than it would have had we just had someone else do it from the get-go as I had to invest in new tools, caulk, caulk gun and smoother (which I didn't know you needed and Husband had to get at Walmart at 1 am while we were trying to install the vanity), etc. and we also ended up having to call a plumber out anyway to fix the connections because when we hooked everything back up we ended up with a big leak. But we had out first open house today and the house was ready to go. Now if someone would just buy it.

I'm upset and angry at a few people. It's a long story, and the thing is that I'm not even sure if I mind that I'm upset. I think actually it may be the break and reason to not care anymore that I've been wanting. It's still hard to let go, and I need to make my peace with that. But sometimes you just live too far away for the effort to really be worth it. And if you can put that effort into others that are worth it, well then, that might just be better.

J is a blast. I love toddlers. And now that we have a full-fledged toddler, I'm ready for a baby and so is Husband. Hence the reason our two bedroom house is now for sale. We're not trying yet, but will be late summer/early fall. But back to J - he is so much fun. I am really enjoying being his mom and hanging out with him. His vocabulary has just exploded - he repeats everything and then starts using it on his own. He's taken to calling Husband by his first name and also chats up everyone we meet out in public. He loves ice cream, chicken nuggets, and cereal bars. He points out and yells the color for everything red, blue, or yellow and he counts from 4-10 (we aren't sure why he doesn't like 1-3). He loves his friends and talks about them all the time. He also is a big fan of the dog and cats and loves playing with them. He also still is loving baseball, soccer, basketball, hockey, and any other sport. He reads alot of books, both on his own and with us, and especially likes his books about trains or sports. He does have a stubborn streak in him and has a hard time when he doesn't get his way, but in general he's a pretty fun kid.

So that's it for now. I need to write some about work, because I've been thinking about that a lot lately and how I think I want a more structured (i.e., not working from home) job, but I dont' know if the timing is good to look for it. So we'll see.

Pictures

I took this from a friend's blog, and since she is a "friend in real-life" friend, I can't link back to her. But thanks.

I thought this was kind of fun and a great way to procrastinate the four huge projects I need to start for work.

Type your answer to each of the items listed below into a Google image search and post a photo from the first results page.

Favorite Animal

One of Your Favorite Places
A place you would like to visit
Your college major (I think this is an odd photo for Psychology)
Favorite holiday
A bad habit
Age at next birthday
Favorite food
Middle name (and no, it's not Hosanna in spite of what the picture says)
Favorite color
Where you live

Random

J and I have both been sick this week, so I have not been doing much other than trying to keep up with him. I've had lots of time to think though about all the things I never realized before I had kids and the top one on the list was that I totally took for granted the opportunity to be sick and just lay around. It's awful to be sick and then still have to take care of a very active toddler! It was ok the first few days when J was sick also, because he was sleeping alot or fairly lethargic, so he wasn't demanding too much, but then the past two days have been awful. I still feel really run-down and yet he has felt much better, so I've been trying to keep up with him all the while trying to ignore my horrible headache, body aches, cough, and inability to breathe! I just wanted to crawl under the covers and go to sleep!

I also realized that even 18 months after J was born, I still have not adjusted to him waking me up in the mornings. Our house is pretty small, and so usually when H gets up in the morning, J will hear him and want to get up. I've always been lazy in the mornings - I used to set my alarm clock an hour before I wanted to get up because I loved being able to hit snooze and just curl back up in bed. But now with J, when he's up, I'm up. There's no snooze button to hit and no opportunity to just get out of bed when I want. And I miss that.

I also realized that I just don't feel ready for a second baby yet. Part of it is that our house is so small, there's really not room for another. I also feel like with as much as Husband works, it would be just that much harder for us to have time together if there was a second child. I'm also not sure what I want to do with my work - I don't think I'm ready to not work, but I would like to be able to give the second child as much attention as I did J, and that will be near impossible if I'm still working and keeping up with J. We're planning on having J in preschool this fall - either two or three full days a week - so maybe then when I have more time for work, I'll start to feel more ready to have another baby around.

We're pretty much ready for Christmas - I finally got our cards sent out and most of the presents are done. I just need to pick up a few random things for Husband's family, and since I know what I'm getting each person, it's just a matter of making it out the stores. I've also got to make some treats on Sunday for gifts - I think I'm going to do peppermint bark and dipped pretzels - and then I will also make a casserole for brunch on Sunday and a few side dishes to take for Christmas dinner.

I've been pleasantly surprised with how much J is recognizing about Christmas - he loves the lights and will say "lights" and "Mis-mas" every time he sees Christmas displays. He hated Santa in person, but loves to look at his picture with Santa and say "ho, ho, ho, merry mis-mas!" He also has loved the nativity, and will say "nite-nite baby Jesus" to the manager and point out the sheep, Mary and Joseph who he calls "mommy jesus and daddy jesus", and the angel. Our dog did eat part of J's El.mo ornament, and we are worried that J might have helped, but other than that there haven't been any major mishaps. He hasn't shown much interest in the presents, which is good because they've all managed to stay wrapped and decorated under the tree!

Facebook

So I joined facebook recently (which may account, in part, for my lack of interest in blogging) and although its been fun to reconnect with some random people from my past, I'm really not too sure of the point exactly. Is it kind of a "collect as many 'friends' as you can" game? Or are you supposed to be actually now keeping up with these people, many of whom are folks I haven't talked to in YEARS? And I capitalized that because I now have about 6 facebook friends who are people I went to elementary school with and have not talked with since. It is pretty exciting to come across somebody and realize that you knew them 20 years ago and then think "wow, they are an adult now . . . just like me!" since most of these people are frozen at about age 10 for me. But am I supposed to now send them notes and post on their wall? Or do we just take movie quizzes and say to ourselves "oh, if only we had kept in touch these past 20 years, we could have seen a lot of movies together because we have similar taste!" or "good thing we haven't talked in 20 years - we don't like the same movies!"

I think I'll keep doing it, because it's fun to see all these random people, but I just don't really get the point. Other than it's one more way to waste time.

And if you are on facebook and want to be my "friend", email me at midwesttexan(at)gmail(dot)com. I'll come out of anonymous blogger land for you. :)

Can you miss someone you never knew?

I have been meaning to blog, for weeks, about my neighbors (now former neighbors). They had a little girl last March, and the mom decided to quit her job to stay home. We ran into them out on walks a few times, and always chatted, but never got together to do anything or made an effort to get to know each other. So we weren't really good friends, and given that, it wasn't a big deal when they moved about 6 weeks ago without us knowing that they were moving. However, after they moved, I found myself missing this woman! Really odd, seeing as I never did anything with her and never really talked much to her! I realized this week though that I, without realizing it, really felt connected to her because when I was home during the day, I could look across the street and see her car outside and know she was home too with her child! Now, I'm the only person on my street that's home during the day - everyone else works - and it's kind of lonely.

And a random question - at what age would you let your newborn be around an older child (toddler age)? We have friends that recently had a new baby and want us to come see their child, but don't want us to bring J. For some reason, I feel like this is an odd request - it's not winter, he's not in daycare, he's not sick, and I'm not going to let him touch the baby or get near it or anything. I'm sure I was like this after J was born, but it seems so silly now to be so overprotective! So help me understand their perspective a little - I've forgotten already what it's like to be a new parent!

*I'm editing this to add that the baby is almost a month old, and HAS been around other kids - they have nieces and nephews that have all been around. I know family is different, but it makes it seem a little more personal that they don't want J there. The other issue is that they don't live close to us and it would require a fairly significant amount of time to go see them. And I don't really want to pay a babysitter for this.

HUGO

I'm addicted to Diet Coke - that's not new. But my new obsession this summer has been fountain diet cokes from McDonalds. With J hating to go in and out of his carseat, and the time he takes to fight him to get into it, I can't just run into 7-eleven to buy a coke, so the drive-thru at McDonalds has been a lifesaver. I've gone almost every day this summer to order an extra large diet coke, light ice. It's technically the "HUGO" drink, but I just can't bring myself to call it that. What does "HUGO" mean? Does it stand for something? I don't like it when they try to come up with some "buzzword" like that, so I just call it an "extra-large".

Typically this runs me 96 cents - not too bad, but considering how often I go to get one, it's not exactly a bargain when you add it all up. This morning, however, there was a new woman at the payment window, and when I pulled up, she noticed that I had a McDonalds cup already in my console (left over from yesterday), and changed my order to charge me only 53 cents! She said this was the "refill" price. I told her that I didn't want my new drink in my old cup, because it was gross with melted coke-water, and she said that they always put the refills in new cups!

Does that make sense to you? How is that a refill?

I'm not going to argue with cheaper prices, however, so I gladly paid my 53 cents and got my drink (in a clean, new cup). The woman said that anytime you have an old cup in your car, with you, then you can get the refill price.

I'm so glad there was this new woman filling in today, and I'm a little ticked off at my usual payment window woman, because she has never told me about this, even though I have a cup in my console almost every day! I always throw away the cup from the day before at the trash can in the drive-thru, after I get my new coke.

Did you know about the refill option at McDonalds?

This is the way I live

One of my favorite ways to "de-stress" is singing out loud and dancing in my car. And more often than not, the songs that really make me relax and laugh are hip-hop and rap. I think because the image of me, dancing along to hip-hop in my car, with the bass turned up and the windows down, is pretty funny. And it's a riot when someone in the car next to me notices me trying to dance like a hip-hop dancer! The song that I've loved lately, and that I sing with J all the time around the house (remember the Friends episode where Ross and Rachel sing "baby got back" to baby emma to make her laugh?), is Baby Boy Da Prince's The Way I Live.

I love, love, love this song. I almost have the whole thing memorized, and it's a blast to sing with J while we dance around together. It's also a great sing-along-in-the-car song.

Have you heard this song? I was trying to find a link to a clip online, but couldn't. Oh well.

Here's the chorus:
This is the way I live
Lil' Boy still pushin'big wheels
I stack my money, lay low, and chill
Don't need to work hard that's the way I feel, I feel, I
This is the way I live
Lil' Boy still pushin' big wheels
I stack my money, lay low, and chill
Don't need to work hard that's the way I feel, I feel, I
This is the way I live

Fun day and a random question

We had a blast today! I'm trying to keep all my working during naptime and on MWF, since I now have regular childcare on those days, because it's too hard to work when J is awake and I felt guilty for doing so. So as part of this, I'm trying to make Tuesday and Thursday our days to get out and do some fun activities together. Today we met up with friends at the park to walk (we walked almost 9 miles!), then we let the kids out to play at the playground (they were very antsy after being in their strollers for an hour and a half). The playground had turned on the in-ground sprinklers, which J loved! All the kids were standing around them, laughing and giggling every time one of them shot up in the air! We all were soaked. After this, we went down to the lake and fed the ducks old bread that one of the moms had brought along. I don't think the kids, J included, really liked the ducks that much. And actually, they were kind of scary. There were some cute baby ducks, but most of the ducks were huge, ugly, mean things that were attacking each other for the bread! So we didn't spend much time doing this.

After the park, we went home and J took a good, three hour nap. I got quite a bit of work done, made some yummy breakfast muffins, and relaxed with my lunch while watching "The V.iew". I wasn't sure if I'd like the show as much with Ro.sie gone, because she always made me laugh, but it's actually still pretty entertaining.

J and I met up with another mom and baby at a different park this afternoon - I think by this time, he was a bit tired of being outside! We played on the swings for awhile, but then ended up sitting and talking while the kids ate a snack.

Now, here's my random question - J is going to this new Pa.rent's Day O.ut program, and he still has a little bit of an upset stomach (i.e., dia.rrhea) from the stomach virus that he had last week. Is he still contagious? Should I not take him? If it was daycare, I would still take him, because I know that they have a pretty relaxed policy on sick kids (they can't go if they have a fever, significant cold symptoms, undiagnosed rash, or actively vomiting). But this P.DO program doesn't have a policy on sick kids (that I was provided), so I'm not sure if this is something that they would get upset with me for bringing him with or if it doesn't matter. I get the feeling that they are a little more conservative about stuff like this, since they are more of an "optional" place for kids to go and not really a daycare. Thoughts?

I think part of my uncertainty is that I'm feeling guilty that I'm using the P.DO time to work, when they market it as a place for SAHMs to drop off their kids for a few hours to get a break. But I think if I was a full-time SAHM, then I would feel guilty dropping him off so I could go get a pedicure or something since the teachers are moms who are working and not off getting pedicures!

Sometimes I hate trying to come up with a title everytime

We are settling back in at home after heading to Baltimore this past weekend with my family for the NCAA Men's Lac.rosse Ch.ampionship. It was a lot of fun, and the champion.ship game (D.uke vs. Joh.ns Hop.kins) was really good. We also saw a Baltmore Ori.oles game, took J to the children's museum (didn't make it to the aquarium as it was packed), hit Filen.e's Base.ment THREE times, and stayed at an awesome hotel right on the I.nner Harbor. We went with my parents and two brothers, as they are all huge lac.rosse fans. I really enjoy watching the games too, and played some back in high school, so it's fun to see a game every once in a while now that no one in my family is playing anymore.

It was crazy traveling with a 13-month old though! He didn't sleep in the plane on the way there and was wiggling all over the place. It was hard trying to fit in naps and meals on a regular schedule while trying to do things around town. J loved the hotel room though! We had a huge room with a wall of windows that looked right onto the harbor and all the boats and downtown area. He would just hang out at the window, bouncing up and down and making happy noises. He also loved the floor length mirrors in the room!

He did sleep on the flight home, but only after poo.ping all over his carseat in the middle of the flight. It was such a mess that Husband and I were just laughing at the absurdity of it. We got it cleaned up, with only one wet wipe to spare, and as soon as he was back in his car seat, he went right to sleep.

Husband is out of town the next two days, so J and I are on our own. I don't mind it too much, because it's kind of nice to just have my own routine. J also goes to daycare tomorrow so I can work, so I'll have some focused child-free time then to get stuff done.

I had hoped to go to the park this afternoon, but it's started raining. Maybe we'll go to the children's museum here; I've been wanting to do that for a while.